Hi there miracle

I hope you are traveling well and I hope you were able to spend some time getting to know yourself.  Your feminist mother is now asking you to consider broadening your view as you get to know yourself in relation to others.

Its been said that we can only know who we are in relation with others and this is because I believe we are made for relationships – NOT bad ones only good ones.  

So the sticky point here is ‘What is a good relationship ?’  

First things first. Bad relationships are ones where you cannot be yourself. These relationships are where people won’t let you be yourself and/or they let you know that you disappoint them, you’re not right or clever or pretty or good or bad or anything enough. Those relationships must be identified early so you can reduce the chance for hurt and pain and having the will to live drained from your soul.

Good relationships are really, really different. These relationships are with people where you want to be yourself and if you are, you are accepted and loved for that. There is never any bar for how clever you are, how pretty, right, good or bad you are – you are allowed to be you because that is who you bring. 

Now sometimes it can be difficult to tell whether a relationship is good or bad and so it can take some time to think about what it is. If people disagree with you, or don’t share your views, or don’t understand everything you say – the relationship may still be good.  Its good if you are left feeling intact emotionally and psychologically and good to be you even though there are differences. Its kinda the point about diversity – diversity is acknowledging the difference and not wanting you to change. Celebrating that difference bring richness and a greater quality of life to us all.

And if it’s a bad relationship, you are left feeling like you have to lie or change or ‘tone down’ or adapt or pretend in order to be accepted.

So you will know if you are in a good relationship with others because you are free to be you – however much you fit in with them or are different. And its important that you then offer others that same freedom – to live without judgement and instead be loved and cared for who they actually are.

And not saying that its always easy to be the person who can offer the best relationships BUT its possible to get there and if you don’t think you’re quite the non-judgemental, open, accepting person you’d like to be  – start now. Why not ??

Cheers to you, driving change on the freeway of love 

xx